Crack yo’ ribs

APRIL FOOLS EDITION

 Hmn…….this is serious. How will I start a new month with this kind of news. Oh Ejiro! Ejjiirrrooo oh! Ejiro don kee mee. #dokadarider

Just as I reached d park this morning, she called.A passenger was already on my okada & we were about to set out. “I don get belle”. Hun? “Bell wetin?” My head started spinning. ” Bros,abeg,I no fit go,pls come down” I dropped the passenger in a hurry. God forbid bad thing” I prayed. “I dey serious, I’m coming from hospital”. She confirmed in an agigated voice.

Chai! My own don finish! I was only trying to help her o. She’s from my village and was sent out where she was working as househelp. As a nice guy &  as I con dey generous, I asked her to stay in my 1 bedroom for the main time. You know we have to be our brother’s keeper now. Through out today I was sober. Infact I just dey do like mumu. I made only 10 trips- N1000. Where that one won reach *phone ringing*

Na ejiro! My God! Why is she calling now. “Hello” “na joke I dey joke oh, April Fool!

Hahahahaha……….”Pschew! Waka! Thunder fire that your mouth” I fit just slap this girl. “No dey play that kain play with me again oh, you wan kill me. Infact you must leave tonight. Come dey go back village”. I was so angry! “Please, na joke now” I just sat there, paralysed with anger!

 

Victoria.Island NIGHT CRUISE

 Business didn’t move well today. So decided to make up by doing some after 10pm night runz. #dokadarider

I made my way to the never deserted streets of VI. At this time, all my enemies had gone home. It was bubbling with music and lights. Many streets were littered with cars. Money is good oh, see people chopping life.

“Heys! Heys!” I stopped at the call.It was 2 of our u-know-who, scantily dressed as usual. I turned to meet them.”Chase that car”

.”Chase that car”.

There was only one car in sight. All I could see was the brake lights & the plate number: GGE 153 PW! My passengers were obviously very angry. “This guy dey craze” one of the ladies said.”E no fit run with my money oh” the other said “Oga, fast oh; he must not escape”. Excitement shot through my body. Yes! I dey love dis kain waka! Zzziiimmm…..I rushed after the car. It was obvious he didn’t know we were after him. The ladies kept cursing him “Were! chop & run”

On to the rescue…..as u know me now; warri no dey carry last. At a sharp corner, I crossed the guy.

Sccrreecchh…..He jolted to a halt, obviously ready to fight. The ladies jumped off my okada. “Bros, just wait”. They said to me. Before u say sef; who wan miss show? I thought to myself. I pitied the guy. He should have just stayed in his car. He jumped out of his car. The 1st lady dragged his shirt. “Wey my money”. He was surprised, surely not expecting his ex-clients. He tried to fight back. I watched in amusement, silly man, he should have just given them their cash straight away.

Taaaoow…the other lady gave him a hot slap. He threw her a return dirty slap….ppoosss!! With professional unity they beat him till he fell down. Just before he died (that’s what he truly looked like), they got their money. The ladies asked me to drop them back. Where I picked them; ready to resume “work”. “Thank you oga, you try well well”

N1000!!! Omo mehn, this is cool business, I should think of partnership with them oh!

 

THE SKIRT EDITION

Over 70% of my passengers were ladies today.I am seriously tired of their wahala sef. What does a skirt have to do with pencil hen? #dokadarider

“Bend your okada now” …thunder fire that your mouth! Please,please,please, if you have to wear pencil skirt abeg buy moto join! Nonsense! #dokadarider